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You need a spiritual father in
your life. Apostolic ministries have apostolic fathers. I came from a
generation of preachers who grew up in ministry without the benefit of
spiritual fathers. Like thousands of others, we had to get whatever we could
through books, audios, videos, seminars, conferences and brief meetings with
men of God hurried off platforms and away from the people.
I have wondered how much more
effective I might have become if someone would have taken a personal interest
in the call of God on my life.
As the apostolic church moves
forward, we can expect the heart of spiritual fathers to be restored toward
the sons of God. One cannot be an apostle who doesn’t have the heart of a
spiritual father. Let’s look at the Apostle Paul as an example. Paul had a vested
interest in the success of his spiritual son Timothy. You can hear the heart
of the father when Paul says to Timothy,“For though you have ten thousand
instructors in Christ you do not have many fathers: for in Christ Jesus I
have begotten you through the gospel” (1 Corinthians 4:15).
Today fathers are abandoning their
wives, children, and responsibilities. This is a reflection of the spiritual
condition of our world as we note the same pattern of abandonment taking
place in ministry. Over 1500 pastors quit the ministry each month and
thousands more leave churches without cause. Pastors are leaving because the
ministry is tough, and a lack of understanding the roles of five-fold
ascension gifts leads to abuse. If you don’t understand the role of your leader,
then you can abuse that leader. Some leaders protect themselves by becoming
insensitive. Callousness, however, can damage the work of ministry. In the
past, some ministry gifts would not take the time to raise spiritual sons or
daughters. Some even went out of their way not to make a way for any
spiritual kinship at all and focused on building their own ministries
instead.
Some sons and daughters only want
blessing, not correction and guidance by loving apostolic fathers. The result
for many of God’s leaders has been to follow the path of least resistance by
concentrating on their own ministries and avoiding further aggravation. It
takes more time to raise a spiritual son or daughter than it does to convert
a sinner. The cry of the Spirit is the return of apostolic fathers toward the
sons and daughters and sons and daughters toward fathers. For decades, we
have been missing the spirit of the father in our churches and homes.
Our society is a mirror of the
spiritual condition of our nation. A lack of fathers in the home is the
primary social problem facing America says 72.2 % of those polled. In 2006,
there were 12.9 million one parent families in the United States, 10.4
million single mother families and 2.5 million single father families. Just
over 67 percent of the nation’s 73.7 million children younger, than 18, lived
with two married parents. The results are grimly revealing. Children of
single-parent homes are:
Five times more likely to commit
suicide.
32 times more likely to run away.
14 times more likely to commit
rape.
Nine times more likely to drop out
of high school.
20 times more likely to end up in
prison.
The outcome of a lack of both
parents in the home is lawlessness. The family is under attack, but hope is
on the way. God spoke of the turning spirit of Elijah returning to His Church
in the last days.
“And he will turn the heart of the
fathers to the children and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest
I come and smite the earth with a curse” (Malachi 4:6).
Times are changing. The Holy
Spirit is challenging hearts and reversing them from self-centeredness to
helping others.
Millions of children have been
raised in single parent homes, mostly by good mothers doing the best they
could. The role of mothers, however, is different from fathers. Take little
Johnny, for example, who was told not to play baseball in his friends’
backyard. He disobeys and breaks the neighbor’s glass window. Who do you
think he runs home to tell, his mother or father? Most likely he ran to
mommy. That’s because the role of mothers is different from fathers. Mother’s
nurture and comfort but fathers set rules and boundaries for behavior.
Fathers also discipline and correct. Little Johnny’s mom probably offered him
hugs and plenty of love. I’m sure she told him that everything was going to
be all right. But when dad came home little Johnny had to face the
consequences of his rebellion, go to the neighbors house, repent and arrange
to have the window repaired.
Spiritual fathers do not replace
natural fathers. Don’t expect them to take you on fishing trips or out to
ball games. They are spiritual fathers. Spiritual fathers are mentors that
offer wise and trusted counsel designed to get you to think. Submission to
their oversight is biblical, voluntary and comes through relationship. It
also affords you spiritual covering and accountability. A mentor offers
instruction, advice, guidance and counsel. A spiritual father also corrects.
Don’t expect a true spiritual father to ignore your mistakes and personality
malfunctions. Correction is designed to help you grow both spiritually and
emotionally. Spiritual fathers do not replace your relationship with God.
They point you toward dependency on the Lord and away from themselves. It is
Jesus that is the author and finisher of your faith.
IDENTIFYING SONS AND DAUGHTERS
It takes a father to give birth to
a son. Son, from the Latin root su, means to give birth. Not everybody that
attends your ministry is a spiritual son or daughter. Some are autonomous
sheep, disgruntled goats or barbarous wolves. Others are just good people
passing through. So how do you know who your spiritual sons and daughters
are? One time the Holy Spirit said to me, “I have many sons and daughters for
you in every nation if you will go.” I asked him how to know who they were,
and he answered, “You will know them by their pursuit.”
Pursuit is the key. It doesn’t
mean that you were the one that led them to the Lord. It’s possible to have
many spiritual sons and daughters that heard the salvation message through someone
else. Hundreds of people have told me they wanted me to be their spiritual
father. To know who they are, I look for pursuit. Like everybody else I am
busy and want to spend my time with the right people. When we have meetings
in other countries, for example, I am keenly aware of those present. If I
take the time and expense to travel to another nation, and they won’t attend
when they live there, then I know they are just talkers. I spend my time with
workers, not talkers.
The same goes for identifying your
spiritual sons and daughters. Talk is still cheap and doesn’t mean much.
Pursuit tells you who they are. If they are not pursuing then, don’t spend
much of your time with them. On the other hand, those who do pursue are the
ones you can do exploits with and help them become champions. Spend your time
with them and watch them become all that God has called them to be.
VICTORIOUS LIVING
Spiritual fathers don’t teach you
to pass exams, they prepare you for victorious living. Our educational system
has given us a pattern of learning based on lectures and exams. Students
learn only to pass academic tests. Teaching to pass a test is not the
Biblical model for learning. The learning pattern throughout Scripture is to
find a mentor who teaches and trains you through an internship. Paul mentored
Timothy, Silas, and Erastus, and Elijah taught Elisha, and Joshua interned
with Moses. All creation is waiting for the sons of God to manifest (Romans
8:19). Without spiritual fathers, there can be no revealing of sons. Marks of
true spiritual fathers include:
Trustworthy
Guide
Protect
Direct
Nurture
Shape and mold
Discipline
Encourage
Give wisdom
Instill purpose
Give hope
Consistency
Listen
Involved
Instill moral values
Demand integrity
Develop character
Provide spiritual leadership
Correct.
Spiritual fathers caution
behavior.
“I write not these things to shame
you, but as my beloved sons I warn you” (1 Corinthians 4:14).
Warn, Greek noutheteo, means
admonish, caution and exhort.
“As you know how we encouraged and
comforted and charged every one of you as a father doth his children, that
you would walk worthy of God, who hath called you to his kingdom and
glory” (1 Thessalonians 2:11-12).
Spiritual fathers set a good
example.
“Wherefore I beseech you, be ye
followers of me” (1 Corinthians 4:16).
Spiritual fathers admonish.
“But I will come to you shortly,
if the Lord will, and will know, not the speech of them which are puffed up,
but the power. For the kingdom of God is not in word, but in power. What do you
want? Should I come to you with a rod, or in love, and in the spirit of
meekness?” (1 Corinthians 4:19-21).
The relationships between
spiritual fathers and sons and daughters are significant in the local church.
Without strong spiritual fathers, we cannot have strong spiritual sons and
daughters. Again, Scripture declares the entire world is waiting for the
“manifestation of the sons of God” (Romans 8:19). Let’s number some of the
benefits of sonship.
BENEFITS OF SONSHIP
The benefits of sonship include training
from a spiritual father, protective oversight, prodding for spiritual and
emotional growth, preparation for inheritance, and correction.
1. TRAINING, COUNSEL, AND
EXPERIENCE
A spiritual father is a gift to
you from the Holy Spirit. Spiritual fathers are competent and seasoned
through trial and experience. They have passed through places in life that
you have not yet been. Wouldn’t it be nice to counsel with someone that has
experience in what you are facing? Paul told Timothy,
“You have known my manner of life,
persecutions, and afflictions” (2 Timothy 3:10-11).
2. PROTECTION FROM DEMONIC WILES
Spiritual fathers provide
protective oversight to their sons and daughters. Inattention is not healthy
for anyone. Because of their experience they often see things that you can’t
and their vision offers protection from evil wiles and demonic onslaught
(Ephesians 6:10-12).
3. SUCCESS AND ACHIEVEMENT
Spiritual fathers provide a safe
environment to grow. Fathers train and prepare their sons and daughters for
the transition from adolescence to adulthood. They get you to think. Everyone
gets older, but not everyone matures. Maturity is vital in your life, and
spiritual fathers will put a demand on you to grow. Spiritual fathers inject
a spirit of excellence in their sons and daughters. Demand is good for you
and helps you face personal challenges that buffet success and achievement.
As you submit to their instruction you will enter new levels of triumph.
Expect them to motivate you to set goals and achieve objectives (2 Timothy
1:6-7).
4. INHERITANCE
Apathy is deadly and kills
spiritual momentum. Growth is needed if you are going to receive your
inheritance. Not heavenly inheritance, but full accomplishment of your unique
calling. Inheritance is what rightfully belongs to you. Everyone has been
given a gift, something specific that God has called you to do with your
life. Many never discover that gift but with the guidance of a spiritual
father, you will find your purpose and make a difference with your life.
Scripture declares that we are under tutors and governors until we come into
our sonship (Galatians 4:1-3). Like spiritual fathers, tutors give private instruction,
and governors regulate your progress.
5. CORRECTION
No one likes correction, but
everyone needs it. Correction helps us improve, and compliance is proof of
sonship. How do you know if you are a real son or daughter? You know by your
response to correction. Scripture identifies true sons in contrast to
illegitimate sons by their ability to receive correction from the father and
make necessary course adjustments. If you can’t handle correction, you are
not a spiritual son or daughter.
“And you have forgotten that word
of encouragement that addresses you as sons. My son do not make light of the
Lord’s discipline and do not lose heart when he rebukes you because the Lord
disciplines those he loves and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son. Endure
hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not
disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes
discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons” (Hebrews
12:5-8).
THE TWIN PITFALLS OF SONSHIP
The benefits of sonship are
terrific, but there is something you need to guard yourself against, the twin
pitfalls of sonship. Familiarity and presumption are two major traps of
sonship.
Developing relationships is a lot
of work and fundamental in apostolic ministries. There are many reasons for
not raising sons and daughters including a lack of those who want to be
raised by true spiritual fathers and an increase of rebellion in the heart of
God’s children. Some true fathers, while training spiritual sons and
daughters, have displayed their humanity only to find some not able to handle
their transparency.
Relationships are tested. Mark
Twain the famous author wrote, “Familiarity breeds contempt.” Contempt is
disrespectful behavior that leads to presumptuous actions. This is the
pitfall of sonship that causes you to take your spiritual father for granted.
King Saul took Samuel for granted. He entered the realm of presumption
assuming a role of ministry that didn’t belong to him and lost his kingship.
Jesus could do no mighty works in his hometown because they thought of him as
the carpenter’s son, not the only begotten son of God.
Sonship is a beautiful thing to
achieve and unlocks worlds of opportunity for you. Jesus never entered his
ministry until He was first called a son (Matthew 17:5). He is our prototype
son that was anointed with the Holy Ghost and power who went about doing good
and healing all that were oppressed of the devil for God was with him (Acts
10:38). You, too, can become a spiritual son or daughter. Beware, however,
the dangers of familiarity and presumption.
ACTION EXERCISE
You need a spiritual father in
your life. Spiritual fathers raise learning, growing, thinking, imaginative
people. The new apostolic reformation includes restoration of spiritual
fathers, sons and daughters. Perhaps the Holy Spirit has been turning your
heart as you read this essay. If so, remember sonship begins with serving
your man of God.
Find a five-fold ascension gift
and pursue the gift of God in him. Serving is the entrance to sonship. Jesus
was always connected to his father. Get connected through serving. When you
are around him, be ready to learn and draw on his gift. Sons catch the spirit
that’s on their fathers. You can’t catch what you’re not around. You can
expect him to give you assignments. When he does, fulfill them with
excellence. Be like Joshua, the one who lead the children of Israel into the
Promise Land. He was first called the servant of Moses. Today he is
remembered as one of God’s greatest leaders.
CONCLUSION
You need a spiritual father in
your life. Apostolic ministries have apostolic fathers.
Developing relationships is a lot
of work and fundamental in apostolic ministries.
Spiritual fathers are mentors that
offer wise and trusted counsel designed to get you to think. A mentor offers
instruction, advice, guidance and counsel. A spiritual father also corrects.
The learning pattern throughout
Scripture is to find a mentor who teaches and trains you through an
internship. Paul mentored Timothy, Silas, and Erastus, and Elijah taught
Elisha, and Joshua interned with Moses.
The benefits of sonship include
training from a spiritual father, protective oversight, prodding for
spiritual and emotional growth, preparation for inheritance, and correction.
A spiritual father is a gift to
you from the Holy Spirit. Spiritual fathers are competent and seasoned
through trial and experience.
Fathers train and prepare their
sons and daughters for the transition from adolescence to adulthood. They get
you to think.
Maturity is vital in your life,
and spiritual fathers will put a demand on you to grow. Spiritual fathers
inject a spirit of excellence in their sons and daughters. Demand is good for
you and helps you face personal challenges that buffet success and achievement.
Everyone has been given a gift,
something specific that God has called you to do with your life. Many never
discover that gift but with the guidance of a spiritual father, you will find
your purpose and make a difference with your life. Scripture declares that we
are under tutors and governors until we come into our sonship (Galatians
4:1-3). Tutors give private instruction and governors regulate your progress.
No one likes correction, but
everyone needs it. Correction helps us improve and is proof of sonship. How
do you know if you are a real son or daughter? You know by your response to
correction.
Jesus never entered His ministry
until He was first called a son (Matthew 17:5).
Some things I've learned over the
years about spiritual fathering:
1. A spiritual father will see you
for who you are and will be a champion of your heart.
2. Fathers give their sons and
daughters an inheritance. An inheritance has to do with a tribe, a ministry,
and spiritual DNA. Read more about it here.
3. Fathers are generous with their
time with their sons and daughters. They are there for them in life's storms.
4. Fathers teach their sons and
daughters how to live life. They help wake them up to the kingdom.
5. Fathers don't give themselves
the designation of "father," sons or daughters do. Men who talk
about themselves as fathers a lot probably do so out of their own need for
affirmation. Be careful of them.
6. A son or daughter should be
slow to call anyone their spiritual father. They may want to do so
prematurely because of the hole in their heart, but a father must prove his
faithfulness over time.
7. Fathers are consistent. Too
many of you have suffered under inconsistent father figures. Their
inconsistency can be a form of abuse.
8. Don't confuse authority
figures, especially your pastor, with your spiritual father. Pastors may
qualify as a spiritual father if they show up in your life over time in a
deeply invested and personal way.
9. Some of you are fortunate to
have dads who have loved you well and become a spiritual father to you.
Recognize that your dad is part of a rare breed of man and you are
privileged. You may have other spiritual fathers, but be sure to never let
that fact diminish the role of your dad in your life. Honoring your natural
father for who he is and what he's invested in you is the fifth commandment
God gave his people.
10. To get the most from a
spiritual father, you have to press into them. Don't expect them to do all
the work. Make it easy for them to invest.
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